well im sorry last night i din write my blog because i was with my cousin-kathryn.well yesterday we have a great time together.yesterday when i woke up,she was next to my bed and she asked me to join her to tambun lost world.well i was blur because i just woke up and i didnt know bout it until she just reached my house and tell me bout it.well it is quite fun at there and knida bored because she is with her bf ah yip and im just a light bulb at there.i didnt really enjoy myself at there because i cant even sleep in the night and i everytime cried until i was tired and sleep.evry night i just keep thinking bout rahul and i was really sad how come both of us can be like this? wat the hell wrong with us?? i really very tired.i really really very tired.all i want is just a normal and long lasting relationship.thats all.well at tambun there, i keep giving excuse and i wnet 4 beach volleyball too because i dont because of me they cant have their own time being together.they knew it too and i saw them very happy.at there i keep thinking how nice if im with rahul playing.sure will be very nice but when i think back wat had happen i really sad and nearly cry in front of them.well then at night i went to her house 4 overnight and we plan to chat until the next morning but she was very tired so i didnt talk to her anymore instead i went to look 4 my fren.well i miss rahul a lot so i keep miss calling him and again we fight.
i cried a lot.then i cant stand it so i just hang up the phone and talk to my fren.my fren was very angry after hearing wat happen and asked me to delete all the message.i was crying more when i delete those message.but what can i do o? nothing right? den i cry so hard until my fren also feel so bad.well then i called back rahul and yar of course we continue our fight until 4 something in the morning...what the hell r we doing now?
tell me ar?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!what the hell r we fighting for?why we must keep quarrel on the phone?why ar???why everything cannot be solve?why?why?why? why o? every night also i sleep at 3,4 oclock because i really dont know what to do now and i really miss him a lot...for him i really cant leave eveything behind just to be with him but why o? why cant we be together ??? why wor?? then today i asked kathryn to help me go reload and he called me but i didnt answer because i was with my family and kathryn father.then my aunt wanted to go out and so we went out to kopitiam and i called him up because he is not feeling well and im very worry 4 him.last night also i can hear 4m his voice he is not feeling well but i dont have the chance to ask him.then i cried again at the kopitiam and he told me he wirtten a comment on his facebook profile and once i open it and i really felt very hurt.....what the hell i keep crying o?why wor?? he say as long im a good girl then he will still be with me but now what o???what the hell o now??? im his ex now!!!!!!! and that day he called up and he told me he is giving a last chance but now???? what the hell o now????
i really dont know now....what should i do now???tell me ar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!what the hell should i do????what can i do somemore???what can i do somemore????tell me ar??!!!! i really do love him a lot and i really want to be with him forever but now? what o now? huh? tell me ar??? what o now???
"the most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or touched,
it must be felt by the heart.......................
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
countdown day to utar
well today is 23/5/2009.this is the 1st day i start writing my own story on this blog or it can be say 4m today onwards this will be my diary...my dailly life story perharps.well today i just receive the letter 4m utar and this coming tuesday i gotta report myself at there.well i will be staying there but now there is a probolem that is my mom's friend-andrew haven get me a room thats why this really makes me worry.well actually i got my own plans.this week i dont think so i can go down to kl to meet my love one rahul because i got a feeling my parents will ask me back home.well i think i gotta make up plan as fast as i could so i can get down to meet rahul.well i really miss him a lot.nowadays i can get to bed after 3am or maybe later.well two days ago i chat with my senior-foong chang fei which is a very great guy.well i had closed my msn account because i dont want anything to hurt rahul anymore.i really dont want.last week we got a big fight that is he went to chat with my god brother or may be i should say that bloody idiot who ruined our relationship.that idiot accused me that im going to look 4 some guys as my new bf and he also accused that rahul already got a new indian gf but in fact i didint.rahul was really angry and we had a very big fight.
well it is really a sad because that day he told me that we are no longer gf and bf and he got a new gf.i really cry a lot that day but i cant do anything.the next day,rahul called up and he apologized to me.i cried again so hard on the phone because i really cant believe that we had just break up.well i knew this time really do hurt him a lot and i knew it takes time.well last two days i went to chat with my senior foong chang fei and he gave me a lot of advice.he told me one thing which i will never forget.well he said to me love is a the purest thing in life.it is not slefish or greedy.it is not hate and it do takes a lot of time.well that day i went to bed at 5.40am after i chat with him.he really give me a lot of advises and the next day i didnt contact rahul at all.i know it do takes time but hey is ok.well rahul he got a lot things ahead him and this time he really gotta take a lot time.well actually today he did called me but i didnt answer.im really scare.i dont want us to fight anymore.i dont us to end up quarreling hurting each other.and i dont want us to make our relationship more worse.i really dont want.i really cant afford to lose rahul again.i really cant.it is very hard.4m that day he looked back 4 me i was really touched and i really love him a lot.4m that day i told myself this is the guy that i will spent the rest of my life with him.im willing to give up anything just to be with him.
i really miss him a lot.a lot until i want to hold him in my arms and never let him to leave me anymore.well now everyday i do my prayer and i wish to god that i can do well in my studies and also in my relationship.i also pray that i can be with rahul forever happily and also i wish that our relationship can be back like how it use to be.so sweet.this is all i just for.well beside this today i got went to the facebook and i leave a message to my god brother-jonathan and also two of my close friend seow zhong cheng and jordan chan.well i really miss my dear god brother jonathan.now when i think back i have been his sister for 5 years.since i was with rahul when im only form 2,he asked me to be his god sister because he is 4m a single family at the same time.wow...it is very nice wasnt it? he is my 1st god brother and i really do love him as my own brother.i have taken him as my own family.well i really miss rahul a lot.my dear one.
"the most beautiful thing in this world cannot been seen or touched,
it must be felt by the heart"
i love you my dear rahul...muak...forever.........
well it is really a sad because that day he told me that we are no longer gf and bf and he got a new gf.i really cry a lot that day but i cant do anything.the next day,rahul called up and he apologized to me.i cried again so hard on the phone because i really cant believe that we had just break up.well i knew this time really do hurt him a lot and i knew it takes time.well last two days i went to chat with my senior foong chang fei and he gave me a lot of advice.he told me one thing which i will never forget.well he said to me love is a the purest thing in life.it is not slefish or greedy.it is not hate and it do takes a lot of time.well that day i went to bed at 5.40am after i chat with him.he really give me a lot of advises and the next day i didnt contact rahul at all.i know it do takes time but hey is ok.well rahul he got a lot things ahead him and this time he really gotta take a lot time.well actually today he did called me but i didnt answer.im really scare.i dont want us to fight anymore.i dont us to end up quarreling hurting each other.and i dont want us to make our relationship more worse.i really dont want.i really cant afford to lose rahul again.i really cant.it is very hard.4m that day he looked back 4 me i was really touched and i really love him a lot.4m that day i told myself this is the guy that i will spent the rest of my life with him.im willing to give up anything just to be with him.
i really miss him a lot.a lot until i want to hold him in my arms and never let him to leave me anymore.well now everyday i do my prayer and i wish to god that i can do well in my studies and also in my relationship.i also pray that i can be with rahul forever happily and also i wish that our relationship can be back like how it use to be.so sweet.this is all i just for.well beside this today i got went to the facebook and i leave a message to my god brother-jonathan and also two of my close friend seow zhong cheng and jordan chan.well i really miss my dear god brother jonathan.now when i think back i have been his sister for 5 years.since i was with rahul when im only form 2,he asked me to be his god sister because he is 4m a single family at the same time.wow...it is very nice wasnt it? he is my 1st god brother and i really do love him as my own brother.i have taken him as my own family.well i really miss rahul a lot.my dear one.
"the most beautiful thing in this world cannot been seen or touched,
it must be felt by the heart"
i love you my dear rahul...muak...forever.........
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